Dave Olds states boldly, “We need a third span”
So build another bay bridge as fast as you can.
As a developer candidate, I’m here to tell you,
We want to build houses and condos to sell you.
As a proud member of the Developer Cartel
Mr. Waterman has given me a story to tell
About how adding a bridge will expand our tax base,
And allow him to build houses all over the place.
He promised all of his candidates we’ll earn a big bonus
Just by obeying his orders and letting him own us.
We’ll all make more money, he says he’s not kidding,
In spite of the fact that the economy’s skidding.
He declares to Phil Duminel with a great deal of assurance
That with thousands more people he’ll sell more insurance.
And to Steve Arentz will go real estate commissions
If he will adhere to the Cartel’s conditions.
What Paul Gunther is promised, not one of us knows
But in his last four years he would never oppose
The developers’ plans and wishes and goals
Which we all know will hurt him soon at the polls.
Unless of course we can buy the election
Which our cartel is striving to work to perfection.
Spend it to make it. That is our plan.
We buy plenty of ads and say whatever we can
To convince all the voters that we really do care
About their kids’ future, but we’re full of hot air.
We are instructed to say while we campaign,
“We support moderate growth” which we really disdain.
Huge profits we want to swiftly commence
Even though it will be at the public’s expense.
Deep down we all know what will come to pass
Your schools will all have fifty kids in each class.
Your crime rate will rise and your taxes will soar
Just look what has happened up in Baltimore.
The bridge that I want must have ten lanes
So that pavement and strip malls are all that remains.
So don’t pay close attention before casting your votes
And we’ll force development right down your throats.
Development profits we will have amassed
And the county you love will be a thing of the past.